


I Can't Make You Love Me

by CrazyTaraWitch



Series: Someone Like You [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, post-4B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 16:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9133072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyTaraWitch/pseuds/CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: She hasn’t heard that voice in nearly a year, and it’s hoarse from disuse, but she’d know it anywhere.“Emma,” she breathes, afraid to turn around and find the room empty as she has so many times before.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Post-4B, alternate Dark Swan. This ficlet is part 2 of a series, but could probably be read as a standalone. (Part 3 should be up by Thursday night at the latest.) I'm pretty disappointed with how this one turned out, but I'm not sure if it actually sucks or I just had my expectations too high.  
> This series inspired by me binging on Adele; each story is named after one of her songs.  
> Warning for mentions of certain male characters we might prefer to forget.

Face scrubbed clean, Regina turns back to her bedroom when she hears a voice from the shadows. She hasn’t heard that voice in nearly a year, and it’s hoarse from disuse, but she’d know it anywhere.

 

“Emma,” she breathes, afraid to turn around and find the room empty as she has so many times before.

 

“Regina,” Emma repeats, more guarded this time.

 

Regina closes her eyes, savoring this moment before she finally turns to look at the Savior.

 

Emma is ragged and worn. It’s not her clothes, the familiar skinny jeans and red jacket that look as fresh as the day she bought them - or stole them, as the case may be. It’s _her_. Her face, her eyes, she looks as if she’s aged a hundred years in the one she’s been gone. Regina knows that kind of aging, the kind that only comes from battling your demons every moment of every day.

 

A thousand questions soar through her mind. _Where have you been? What’s happened to you? How could you be so stupid? Have you hurt anyone? How could you leave us?_

 

“You idiot,” she finally murmurs. “You stupid, wonderful idiot.”

 

A small grin flits across Emma’s face, gone as soon as it appears.

 

“Emma… What are you doing here?” Emma flinches and Regina instantly regrets her words. “Why are you here _now_ ,” she tries again, “after all this time?”

 

Emma shrugs awkwardly, and it’s clear there’s a reason she’s unwilling to say, but Regina won’t push. She can’t, not when it might send Emma running again.

 

“It’s late,” Regina comments, trying to sound casual.

 

“It is,” Emma acknowledges simply. Silence falls between them for several moments before she speaks again. “Should I go? Is… Robin coming?”

 

Regina shakes her head. “Not tonight.” She takes a deep breath. “You could stay.”

 

Emma looks pained. “I don’t really… sleep, anymore,” she admits quietly. “Nightmares.”

 

“Perhaps… Perhaps it would help to have someone beside you,” Regina suggests hesitantly. “The bed is large enough for two.”

 

Emma stares for a long moment before she nods.

 

Wordlessly, Regina walks to her dresser and pulls out her softest pajamas, a flannel set Henry bought her last Christmas that’s never suited her, and hands them to Emma. The younger woman looks uncertain and Regina rolls her eyes. “If you’re going to sleep you should at least be comfortable. There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom.”

 

By the time Emma returns, Regina is lying stiffly in bed, wondering how exactly this is going to work. She rolls over to face the blonde and turns down the blanket in invitation.

 

Emma walks closer and slips into bed. Regina turns off the light, and they lay together in the dark and the silence for so long Regina wonders if Emma’s fallen asleep.

 

“I shouldn’t be here,” Emma says finally. “You’re getting married.”

 

“I am,” Regina agrees softly, glad she can’t see Emma’s expression. “Tomorrow.” She can't say whether she had hoped or feared that this was why Emma had come, but she had known without question. 

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

“Robin’s with the Merry Men - one last night of freedom, before…” Regina trails off. She feels Emma turn away, needing more distance even in the dark.

 

“And what about you, Regina? Are you free?”

 

“I don’t know,” Regina admits. “I want to be.”

 

“This doesn’t have to mean anything,” Emma suggests after a long pause. “For you. It can just be… helping a friend. We don’t have to pretend it’s more than that.”

 

“I don’t want to pretend,” Regina says, voice thick.

 

She scoots closer slowly until they’re almost touching and tentatively wraps an arm around Emma’s waist.

 

Emma nearly sobs at the first contact, and when she doesn’t pull away Regina moves the final inch that brings their bodies together, front to back.

 

Regina falls asleep quickly despite her worries, too relieved to finally have the Savior safe in her arms. Emma relaxes when the older woman’s breathing evens out, but she lies awake for a long time, unwilling to miss a moment of her one and only night with Regina.

 

When Regina wakes, more rested than she’s felt in months, Emma is gone, the bed cold beside her. The only evidence Emma had been there at all is the diary lying open on Regina’s vanity, a new entry scrawled inside.

 

**_October 19th, 2014_ **

_Dear Regina,_

 

 _Thank you for last night. Thank you for making the voices quiet, at least for a little while._  
_  
I wish I could stay. I wish I were strong enough to stay._

 

_I can’t make you love me, anymore than I can make myself not love you. So I’m walking away._

 

_I can’t be around Henry while I'm like this, not when I can’t trust myself. But I do trust you. I know you’ll take care of him while I can’t._

 

_Someday I’ll be able to wish you and Robin well. For now, the best I can do is stop fighting._

 

_I’m sorry._

 

_I love you._

  
_(I guess I’m sorry for that too.)_


End file.
